1
00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:27,360
Good evening.

2
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,400
Most of you have
doubtless read how
Anne Boleyn lost her head.

3
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,270
King Henry VIII,
no longer fascinated, said,

4
00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:40,570
"Let her be decapitated."

5
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,870
Thereupon the legend goes

6
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:49,340
her ghost roamed about
each night with utmost
dignity and charm,

7
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:54,420
with her head tucked
underneath her arm.

8
00:00:56,950 --> 00:01:00,360
Now with two heads
it occurs to me

9
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,590
I can think more clearly
than with three.

10
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:05,730
However,
if the worst should come,

11
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,900
one head's a basic minimum.

12
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,300
Therefore, in my work,

13
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,240
I hardly dare to roam about
without one spare.

14
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:18,210
Tonight's legend
tells of modern life

15
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,080
and how to solve a problem:

16
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,810
(INAUDIBLE ARGUING)

17
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,120
(SHOUTING)

18
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:10,830
(BOTH ARGUING)

19
00:03:07,050 --> 00:03:07,780
(THUDDING)

20
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:26,680
(GRUNTING)

21
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,430
(METALLIC CLANKING)

22
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,390
(METALLIC CLANKING)

23
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:23,630
(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

24
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,140
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

25
00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:46,940
I was only doing 35, Officer.

26
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,240
What I stopped you for
has got nothing to do
with speeding.

27
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,650
Why, I don't understand.
I was driving real careful.

28
00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:01,690
It's got nothing to do
with your driving, either.

29
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,360
You've got a taillight out.

30
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,060
Oh?

31
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,460
Well, it was all right
when I left the house.

32
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,770
Well, it's not all right now.

33
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,300
Let's see your
driver's license.

34
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,450
Oh, from Edgetown, huh?
Yeah.

35
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,120
Where you headed?

36
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,550
Oh, nowhere in particular.

37
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:34,120
I was just out
taking a little drive.

38
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,690
What are you going to do
about the taillight?

39
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,090
I'll have it fixed
first thing in the morning.

40
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,660
No, that's not
good enough.

41
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,500
You can't be driving around
with that taillight out.

42
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:44,930
That's how accidents happen.

43
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,900
Well, I don't know
what I can do.

44
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:50,110
Well, you can
get it fixed.

45
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,170
There's a gas station
about a mile back,
on the main highway.

46
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:55,110
Oh, well, I'll go right there.

47
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:57,550
Yeah. See that you do.

48
00:11:57,580 --> 00:11:58,380
Yep.

49
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,550
(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

50
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:44,560
(HORN HONKING)

51
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,710
Fill her up?
No. I need a new bulb
for my taillight.

52
00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:57,940
And I'm in a hurry.

53
00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,410
Everyone always is.

54
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,690
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

55
00:13:15,890 --> 00:13:17,230
ATTENDANT: Here you are,
mister.

56
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:20,900
What's the matter?
You nervous or something?

57
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,260
Just give me the bulb.
Don't you want me
to put it in for you?

58
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,370
(MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING)

59
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:35,540
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

60
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,580
Maybe you'd better.

61
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,580
Okay.

62
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,610
What do you make of that?
It don't work.

63
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,950
Maybe the bulb's no good.
Not a chance.
It's brand new.

64
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,320
I just took it
out of the package.

65
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,790
It could be
defective anyway.

66
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:57,360
Nuts. Nothing wrong with that.

67
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:00,400
COP: What's the matter, Red?

68
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,570
What's the trouble all about?

69
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:07,270
Take a look at this bulb
and tell me what you think.

70
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,040
Looks all right.

71
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,940
Put it back in
and jiggle it around
a little bit.

72
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:14,940
Sometimes that'll do it.

73
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,310
Already done that.

74
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,210
Nope. Don't work.

75
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,410
Wait a minute.

76
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,520
COP: Now, you got
a defective wire.

77
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:33,560
What do you got in the trunk?
Seems to be loaded down
pretty good.

78
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,470
Uh, just some tools I forgot
to take out at the house.
They're kind of heavy.

79
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,170
COP: That's what did it.
Yeah.

80
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,940
One of those tools probably
rubbed against a frayed wire
and grounded it out.

81
00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:44,070
Where's the key?

82
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:47,180
Key?

83
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:50,210
COP: Yeah.
We'll open the trunk
and Red can take a look at it.

84
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,650
Probably fix it
with a piece of tape.

85
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,320
What's the matter?
You sick or something?

86
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,470
I only got the ignition key.
I must've left the trunk key
at home.

87
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,340
Oh. Well, this light's
got to be fixed.

88
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,240
There's been
a lot of accidents
on this highway lately

89
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,050
and this could cause
another one.

90
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,780
You know, sometimes
you can spring these open
on these old cars.

91
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,550
(GRUNTING)

92
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,190
No.

93
00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:33,590
Huh?

94
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,060
Well, I mean, can't you
just give me a ticket
and get it over with?

95
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,860
Well, why?

96
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:42,900
Well, it'd be a lot cheaper
in the long run
than ruining the lock.

97
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,670
Sure, I could
give you a ticket.

98
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,070
But that wouldn't fix
that taillight,
now, would it?

99
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,880
I asked you a question.
Would it?

100
00:16:53,910 --> 00:16:55,240
Well, locks are expensive.

101
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,710
So they're expensive.

102
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,920
Look, suppose a guy
comes along and runs
into your rear.

103
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,220
You know, mistakes you
for a motorcycle or something.

104
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:05,120
Or maybe he's half-tanked.

105
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,190
Now, you both
wind up in the hospital.

106
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,020
Is that cheaper than
buying a new lock?

107
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,760
No, I suppose not.

108
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:14,460
Now, I know you're afraid
I'll scratch your car

109
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,560
and that would lower
the trade-in value.

110
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,330
(LAUGHS)

111
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,500
You know, some of you guys
make me laugh.

112
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,040
You treat these old cars
like they're old ladies.

113
00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:25,610
Red, get me a crowbar.
Sure.

114
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,170
It's all right.
It's all right!

115
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,770
Don't be too sure.
There's no telling
how long it'll stay on.

116
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,870
Well, at least
till I get home.

117
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,470
You better have it fixed
first thing in the morning.
I certainly will.

118
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,080
Just be sure you do
because next time
I'll give you a ticket.

119
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,040
Here, Red.

120
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,220
RED: Okay.

121
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,390
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

122
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,490
(SIREN WAILING)

123
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:49,680
What's the big hurry?

124
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:54,580
Well, I was only going 35.
That's under the limit.

125
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,890
I didn't say
you were speeding.

126
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,490
Why is it people always
think they're being stopped
for speeding?

127
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,460
You know, the way
you shot out
of that gas station

128
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:05,460
anybody would've thought
you were on fire.

129
00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:08,760
Here. You gave him a five spot
and forgot to get your change.

130
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:13,400
Well, thanks a lot, Officer.
Thanks very much.
I'm much obliged to you.

131
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,770
I guess it just
slipped my mind.

132
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:19,540
You must have a lot
on your mind
to forget a five spot.

133
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,710
Yeah, well,
I guess everybody does.

134
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,310
Well, thanks
for bringing it to me.
It's okay.

135
00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:29,680
I thought you said
you lived in Edgetown.

136
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,590
I do.
What're you doing
on this road?

137
00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:36,190
Well, I... I didn't feel
like going right home.

138
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:38,130
I thought
I'd take a little drive.

139
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,460
It's a little risky
with that taillight.

140
00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:43,100
Yeah, well, I guess
it's all right now.

141
00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:44,670
Well, I hope so,
for your sake.
Yeah.

142
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,470
Oh, wait a minute.
I'll have a look for you.

143
00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:51,370
(TAPPING)

144
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:59,310
Well, I got news for you.
It's out again.

145
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:01,250
It can't be.
It's out like a light.

146
00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:03,350
Want to take a look?

147
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:09,660
Don't look so worried.
You know, I just happened
to think of something.

148
00:22:09,690 --> 00:22:11,160
What?

149
00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:13,560
Headquarters about
a mile up ahead.

150
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,360
Matter of fact,
this road's a shortcut to it.

151
00:22:16,260 --> 00:22:17,970
Headquarters?
Yeah.

152
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:21,340
We got a mechanic there.
He'll have that trunk open
in about two seconds.

153
00:22:21,370 --> 00:22:23,240
He'll fix that light
and it won't cost you a cent.

154
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:24,710
Well, my house is only
a little ways from here.

155
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:26,340
I'll drive it there
and then I'll...

156
00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:28,540
I'll get it fixed
first thing in the morning.

157
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:30,780
Now, that's pretty dangerous.
You better have it fixed now.

158
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:31,650
Follow me.

159
00:22:38,950 --> 00:22:40,090
(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING)

160
00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:13,490
One less mile to go.

161
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,160
Next week another script,
another show.

162
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:20,430
When electrons glide
across your screen,

163
00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:23,800
bringing some new
and unforeseen
brand of murder.

164
00:23:23,830 --> 00:23:26,500
I mean the quiet kind,

165
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,840
perpetrated solely
in our mind.

166
00:23:28,870 --> 00:23:30,810
A gentle thump.

167
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,070
A soothing splash.

168
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:35,710
No bullet, shriek
or livid gash.

169
00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:38,250
No stains, no fumes,
no ugly splatter.

170
00:23:39,310 --> 00:23:42,220
We use only the purest
subject matter.

171
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,420
Good night.